President Donald Trump spoke to a packed house in Wildwood earlier this week. Amazingly, I ran into him at the Wawa outside the Wildwood Convention Center…

Me: Wow! Mr. President —-you’re stopping off at Wawa before your big appearance tonight at the Convention Center? 

Trump: Just need some snacks so I don’t have low blood sugar during my incredible speech in front of 175,000 Trump supporters who asked for tickets. 

Me: What brings you to New Jersey?

Trump: I’m here as a favor to my good lifelong friend, Congressman Jeff Van Drew, who is one of the millions leaving the Democrat Party. He’s tremendous. 

Me: No Secret Service around?

Trump: Nope. Don’t need’em here at Wawa. They have excellent security cameras on 24/7. I feel very safe.

Me: So what’s the latest for you in DC? 

Trump: Crazy Bernie, Pocahontas and Shifty Schiff are all out to get me with this impeachment witch hunt. 

Me: There have been no witnesses and no documents,

Trump: Don’t need them. Everyone knows this is s complete farce trying to undo the biggest win by any president ever in 2016.

Me: There’s been some talk about getting John Bolton to be a witness.

Trump: He’s a complete liar. Bozo Bolton is a complete liar. And besides, I never met the man.

Me: But you appointed Bolton your National Security Advisor for 18 months.

Trump: Never read his briefing books. Never heard of the man. A fake liar. 

Me: He gave you national security advice in the Oval Office…

Trump: A complete fraud. Have you seen his fake glasses nose and mustache combination? 

Me; Anyway, welcome back to New Jersey, Mr. President. 

Trump: Yes, I am the President. I’m the best President ever. The most incredible. 

Me: Really?

Trump: I’m tremendous. Every poll says so.

Me: But what about George Washington?

Trump: Lyin’ Georgie was born in 1733. USA was born in 1776. He wasn’t even born in America. An illegal immigrant.

Me: Abe Lincoln?

Trump: I prefer presidents who weren’t shot.

Me: FDR?

Trump: Fake cripple. He was able to walk his whole life. Used the wheel chair bit to get elected four times.

Me: By the way, as a comedian I worked the comedy club at Trump Castle in Atlantic City many years ago…

Trump: Do I owe you money too?

Me: No, I think we’re good. 

Editor’s Note: Needless to say, the piece is intended as a piece of a good humor.