BY KELLY STEWART MAER

In 1991, my first job, I was working in the NJ General Assembly. I was excited, nervous working at the statehouse, my first “real job” just  weeks after I just graduated college. I vividly remember walking in the Caucus room and an Assemblyman loudly proclaiming, “look at the set of tits on this new girl.” I was mortified, horrified. It was around the same time as Clarence Thomas and Anita Hill’s testimony. I knew there was nothing I could say or do. I was single just starting out and couldn’t tell anyone. He kept making remarks until finally a senior female staffer countered back and defended me. Nothing happened to him. I was so afraid I’d lose my job.

Then there were the multiple times when a male colleague – state employee – came into my office, closed my door and said, “you can’t leave until you kiss me.” I threatened to kick him in the crotch. He said he would like that, so I screamed so loud a female colleague came to my rescue. I was/am a married woman and couldn’t even tell my husband about it because I was afraid.

Then the time a few years ago a legislator made sexual advances to me and laughed it off when I confronted him. I didn’t report it. How can you? There was nothing I could say. I had to immediately leave. It’s humiliating.

They get rewarded. We get punished, belittled, mocked or forced out of work. I learned to speak up and loudly make a scene. Leave me alone or leave without body parts you came here with today. Understood? Good. 

Personally, I feel our state legislature needs to look in the mirror and clean up their own house(s).

We all deserve an environment where women feel safe. Especially in the work place. We need to come together to address and shut down these behaviors. 

Kelly Stewart Maer is Director of Public Affairs for Capital Health.