I’m a very cunning linguist. Puns, word play, innuendo all of it. So my inability to conjure up a hilarious marijuana version of “Trenton Makes, the World Takes” still haunts.

For those not in the know, “Trenton Makes the World Takes” is written in gigantic neon letters across the Lower Trenton Bridge that connects to Morrisville PA, just across the Delaware River.

Thankfully, many of y’all had ideas of your own!

Several astute readers shared their clever suggestions on my Facebook page and it would be selfish of me to hoard all that cleverness for myself.

The hilarity started optimistically:

• “Trenton Wakes, the World Bakes”
• “Trenton’s Woke, the World Can Smoke”
• “Trenton’s Broke, Tax the Toke”🥉
• “Trenton Blazes, Jersey Praises”

Then it got a little darker:

• “Trenton Takes Because They’re Snakes!”🥈
• “Trenton’s Greed Legalizes Weed!’🥇
• “Trenton Takes and Takes and Takes”

I wish I felt more optimism about the marijuana reform bills getting a vote in Trenton on Monday. I’m basically preparing for the Jim Jones Doomsday Scenario where the whole things goes up in flames and takes medical cannabis with it.

If you support legalization you might take solace knowing that I’m wrong a lot.

(If you see Mike Giglio, John Keating, Dylan Hawkins. Joe Votruba, Rich Moroski, Tom Wilson, and Derel Stroud tell them thanks for the wordplay!)