Words of Remembrance for Jen Giattino, as delivered at her funeral

Rabbi Robert Scheinberg
Hoboken, NJ

November 13, 2024

I am sadly grateful for the invitation from Monsignor Michael Andreano and from Jen’s family to share some words in her memory.

At the end of a long day, Jen Giattino of blessed memory loved to unwind by doing jigsaw puzzles.  The bigger the better. Joe estimated that she would do 150 puzzles each year.

An expert jigsaw puzzler sees every puzzle piece as an opportunity for connection — an opportunity to make every piece fit together, as each one has its own special place.

In other words, Jen Giattino would do at night with puzzle pieces what she would do during the day, every day, with her loved ones and her friends, and with the people of this city.

Because Jen was a master connector, who could look at the world and figure out instantly: How can I connect these people to these people?  How can I get this lonely and vulnerable person to be connected to others? How can I get this person’s skills and resources to fit with this person’s needs?  How can I get this jumbled city to fit together?

Jen Giattino enjoyed a challenge.  As far as I can tell, she succeeded at everything she tried – and she tended to try very difficult things.  Somehow the same person who thrived in the orderly and disciplined world of professional ballet also thrived in the chaotic and high energy world of the floor of the New York Stock Exchange.

That’s where – not long after meeting Joe, the love of her life, she joked with him that she was perfect.  And in fact she became Joe’s perfect partner. Together they traveled throughout the world, and created a home and a beautiful family of which she was the rock and the center.  Jen was the one who could get anything done, who could reassure anyone at a challenging time that everything would be okay.

Jen was the most dedicated and confident parent to Joey, Jack and Alex  — she was the drill sergeant parent getting them up early on vacations for which she had made a meticulously jam-packed schedule each day — and she was also the laid back parent letting them douse each other with shaving cream in the kitchen — and she was also the devoted parent attending every single school event, supporting and guiding them through every challenge and difficulty, and delighting in seeing her three sons grow into the strong, confident and loving young men they are.

More evidence of Jen as a master connector is the fact that I, a rabbi, am speaking in her memory at her funeral mass. In part because of her deep connection to her father Isaac of blessed memory, and the pride she took in his Jewish heritage, Jen and Joe sent their three sons to the Kaplan Preschool at our synagogue, which is how I got to know her. She became a chair of the parent’s association and became a beloved and inspiring leader, and she found that she thrived on leading and serving.  From that point on — in Joe’s words — she jumped like a lightning bolt, head first into the role of a community leader and a public servant.  She became a leader in the Calabro School community, then in the Elysian Charter School community, and eventually made the decision to run for Hoboken City Council, where she served with distinction since 2011 including being chosen several times by her colleagues as City Council President.

In a sometimes rough and tumble political world, Jen knew how to disagree respectfully, how to bring an open mind, and how to build consensus.  But the part of the role that Jen loved most was making a difference in people’s lives — standing by her constituents at desperate times, endeavoring to connect them to the people who can solve their problems, and caring for them when it seems like no one cares.

Hoboken is so full of people whose lives were touched by Jen — some stories are known and some were known only to Jen who never trumpeted this part of her work on behalf of her constituents.   Helping someone find a new apartment. Taking someone to the hospital.  Helping someone to acquire adequate food and clothing. Bringing someone to visit a family member in jail. Visiting constituents in health care facilities.  Helping people through health crises, educational crises, financial crises.  Supporting the neediest in our community through the Hoboken Homeless Shelter, Family Promise, and Garden State Episcopal CDC. Presiding over the Hoboken Relief Fund that assisted so many small businesses and individual needs during the most dire part of the Covid shutdown.  And so many stories that are yet to be told.

The needs were without end, but so was Jen’s love and dedication.  Jen was gifted in so many ways — including being uncommonly gifted at giving.

She knew the awesome responsibility that when she advocated for someone’s needs, people would take her words more seriously because she could sign the letter Jennifer Giattino, Hoboken City Council President.

Jen never met her paternal grandfather who died long before she was born.  His name was Abraham Leib Silberman, and in the early 20th century he was the Chief Rabbi of the city of Safed in what is now Israel.  We know the Hebrew word he would have used to describe the qualities of someone like Jen — it’s the Hebrew word Hesed — a word that when it comes up in the Bible is often translated as love or kindness, but really refers to love and kindness not as emotions but as tangible actions that transform the world for people who need it.

And because of Jen’s presence and her example, the quotient of Hesed in our world is so much greater.

Joe, Joey, Jack, Alex — our hearts go out to you.  We pray that you feel the love of so many people in this room and throughout our city — that’s love that we received from Jen that we are now reflecting back to you.  And we pledge to be there for you at this excruciating time and to show you the kind of kindness and support that Jen so routinely showed for others.

To Jen’s mother Judy — to her brothers Albert, Isaac, Sean, and David, and her Aunt Mary  — we pray that you find comfort and strength and peace to sustain you through your sadness.

And to all Jen’s relatives and all her dear dear friends, and all her colleagues and all her constituents: We so wish this inspiring, kind, generous person had many many more years to devote to her family and community.  What we cando, even in the midst of our heartache, is to follow her example.  To do what Jen taught us to do, every day. To extend ourselves in love and kindness.  To see every conversation as an opportunity for joy and caring and connection.  To be generous with our time and our resources.  To bring our skills and creativity to the task of making people’s lives better at challenging times.   Because Jen’s work is not complete as long as our city and our world are full of puzzle pieces yet to be connected.

May the memory of Jennifer Giattino be always for a blessing – just as her magnificent life has always been.